Wednesday, May 8, 2013

May 8, 2013

I want to dance now. I want to join David and dance before my Lord, for he has kept me safe in his dwelling, and He has hided me in the shelter of his sacred tent when my days were dark and all the gloominess of fear and despair kept me quiet and, like a child, sobbed my heart. 
And now, here I am, so full of happy life. Who could have imagined back on those dark days of February that the sun was going to shine for me so bright, and so gentle. How poor, how stripped of all I was then. But it doesn't matter now. I work and live in my own Paradise. And that's what matters. I live my life on my own terms and dictate how my hours are going to be. And all day long my soul drinks from the spring that never ceases, and I work the soil which yields my joy. I share creation and depend on the Creator in total acceptance and humble trust for my daily portion of joy and wellbeing.

Every hour spent in the garden is an hour of continuous nearness and friendship. But it is more than that... for the rapport is absolutely more profound, and purer and ampler in the sense and substance of the word 'friendship'. It is a Father-daughter relationship. It is the creature-Creator alliance, while the sky above my head bears the color of the delphiniums on a summer's day, and how blue it is, and how lovely, and yet, I see it does not convey the true nature of the color blue, for there is also this purple light in it; so deeply and radiantly beautiful.
I cannot help glancing at my watch from time to time while so much happiness is transpiring; pondering on where I was, and what was I doing only a few months ago at that precise time. And how fortunate, and blessed I then feel when at 1:00, at 2:00, and then again at 3:00 or 4:00 I am still here, where there is no one to belittle me or make me feel unworthy, and there is nothing but a dear sun-flooded garden and the glory of God.
Sometimes, a tired old pain would resurface. It comes in waves; hopping towards me like mad rabbits at the bend of the path. But it would be for just a little while; nothing as it used to be, when memories were a disagreeable, daunting thing, and a painful past still much part of my present. With the strength of wellness rising up in me I'm finally re-rooting in all that's good. My heart is full of thanksgivings.
Oh how my soul desires the simple. How I want to live in a simple world... with simple people around me. A world where I don't have to feel pressured to accomplish big things... give me the meadow flowers, and give me waking up to the first flock of Robins in the garden... give me the little things that bestow joy, and peace.
"I will be fully satisfied as with the riches of foods; with singing lips my mouth will praise you" (Psalms 63:5)

1 comment:

  1. Oh, Cielo, thank goodness for your new life. Five days left.